Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The war against terror on '24'

Well, the war against terror on '24' is all over until next season in
January. We won't know where Jack Bauer is for months. He could be
on line in front of me at ShopRite, but I probably wouldn't recognize him.
I might get a clue when he tells the bagger to "Just do it!" though.

I think they need to rename this season's shows. They're not worthy of
being called 24. It should be named 23 1/2. What was with the last half
hour? All touchy and feely, nobody knocked off in a surprise burst of
violence. Like in the first season when Jack's wife was killed in the last
minutes with Jack crying over her body.

Learning Chloe is pregnant means we can kiss her goodbye. Nice work,
Morris. Deprive us of one of our favorite characters in a lustful encounter
the day before. You remember, the day before you were busy arming
suitcase nukes.

I suppose Ricky Schroder will be back next year with a white cane and a
seeing-eye dog. Not!

And why did Milo's brother leave before Nadia got a chance to return to
the room where he was cleaning out Milo's locker? Was it just too painful?
Andpoor Nadia. Both men that expressed an interest in her had bad things
happen to them. Dead. Blind (not the same person or in the same order).

Bill Buchanan and his wife Karen are forced to retire. Doesn't matter that
they both had more light bulbs lit in their heads than the Vice President.
He was stupid enough to think that a hot blond with a great body was really
interestedin him. That would be like if Vice President Cheney thought Paris
Hilton wanted to get in his pants. Actually, not a bad idea. Have voluptuous
blondes get Cheney in the sack on a regular basis. How long do you think
his ticker would last? Then Congress could impeach the Shrub.

Josh Bauer had an interesting day. Lost his father, shot his grandfather,
then watched his grandfather turned into ashes courtesy of the Air Force.
And now Uncle Jack has disappeared. Too bad this didn't all happen for Josh
during the summer to write up when high school reopens in September and
he has to write about what he did over the summer. Now he'll just have to
write about his Burger King job and how he watched burgers being flame
broiled instead of his grandfather.

Poor Marilyn. She probably won't have a period for months.

When will Bill Buchanan get his computers back? Will the porn he
downloaded when Karen was away in Washington still be in the machines?
More likely to have been transferred to the VP's laptop by a suckup
secret service guy.

And the poor ex Secretary of Defense. His daughter Audrey is a vegetable.
The actress played her part well; her eyes didn't move at all and I was
watching closely. Caring for his daughter is going to eat into his time on the

Do you think Jack still likes Chinese food?

President Wayne Palmer, just a shadow of his brother the dead president
who's come back to life and got a good gig now. Instead of working for 50
states, he's pushing Allstate. Wayne probably has it best. He's in bed,
recuperating and he didn't have to make any of the tough decisions. His
sister is wringing her hands bedside and thinking, "Why the hell did I listen
to Karen?" If I were him, I'd stay there and just keep collecting the
$400,000 annual salary.

It's a long time until January and the next season. Guess I'm going to have
to pay attention to the Shrub's efforts to whittle down mideast terrorists.
And we all know how that's going.

Just heard on the news while writing this that Bin Laden ordered Iraq to be
used as a base for terrorism in 2005! Not 2001. The Shrub is such a liar.
There was a lot of deception on 24, part of the story. I guess the scriptwriters
used reality as their inspiration--Walter Haan,


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